One-on-one meetings have earned an unfortunate reputation. For many leaders, these meetings feel inefficient, awkward, or unnecessary, and just another meeting competing for already limited time and energy. For many team members, they trigger anxiety, uncertainty, or disengagement. And yet, when we look closely at what actually drives healthy cultures, strong performance, and meaningful work, one-on-ones quietly sit at the root of it all.
At PeopleForward Network, we believe leadership is built from the ground up. Cultures don’t grow because of lofty vision statements alone. They grow because of consistent, intentional practices that create trust, clarity, and connection. Simple one-on-ones, when designed well, are one of those practices.
Why One-on-Ones Feel So Hard (and Why That’s the Problem)
One-on-ones often fail not because they’re inherently flawed, but because most leaders were never taught how to do them well. In many organizations, they’ve devolved into rushed status updates, uncomfortable feedback sessions, or meetings that get canceled the moment things feel “too busy.”
Busyness is usually the first excuse. Leaders are overloaded with decisions, priorities, and pressure. When time is tight, conversations that feel “squishy” or emotionally complex are the easiest to cut. But this mindset ignores a critical truth: avoiding regular conversation doesn’t save time, but it compounds problems.
When communication is inconsistent, small misunderstandings grow into large issues. Misalignment festers. Frustration builds silently. Work gets redone. Energy drains. Eventually, leaders find themselves spending entire days cleaning up messes that could have been prevented with a single intentional conversation.
In a world increasingly shaped by remote and hybrid work, this challenge intensifies. Without hallway conversations, tone cues, or informal check-ins, leaders lose critical context. In virtual environments, communication becomes more important than ever. And those one-on-ones aren’t a corporate invention; they’re simply a structured way for humans to stay connected while doing work together.
The Efficiency Myth, and the Cost of Believing It
Many leaders believe one-on-ones are inefficient. The reality is exactly the opposite.
One-on-ones create efficiency by establishing a steady rhythm of communication. They allow leaders and team members to address issues while they’re small, clarify expectations early, and stay aligned on what matters most. Without this rhythm, leaders pay the price later through potential rework, conflict, disengagement, or turnover.
Efficiency isn’t about doing fewer meetings. It’s about preventing unnecessary problems. One-on-ones do exactly that.
What Great One-on-Ones Actually Feel Like
When one-on-ones are done well, people actually look forward to them.
The most impactful one-on-ones consistently reflect a few core elements:
- A focus on the whole person, not just the role
- Space to talk about what’s working and what isn’t
- Genuine curiosity about growth, goals, and direction
- A sense of preparation and presence from the leader
The difference is intentionality. Leaders who plan for one-on-ones and actually show up with purpose instead of rushing in signal something powerful to their people…you matter. Over time, that signal builds trust, safety, and engagement.
Small Conversations Prevent Big Problems
One of the most common leadership breakdowns isn’t incompetence or even bad intent. It’s simply a lack of awareness.
When leaders don’t create space for honest conversation, team members often have no idea that something is wrong. Leaders may assume an issue is obvious, while the person doing the work is completely unaware of its impact. Without regular dialogue, frustration builds quietly on one side and confusion persists on the other.
Consistent one-on-ones surface these gaps early. They normalize small course corrections. They make feedback routine rather than dramatic. And they prevent issues from snowballing into performance problems, resentment, or disengagement.
From Status Updates to Growth Conversations
If one-on-ones are dominated by task updates, something is missing.
Status can be shared asynchronously. Growth requires conversation.
The shift happens when leaders stop viewing one-on-ones as reporting sessions and start treating them as shared space, our meeting, not my meeting. When both people come prepared, when both voices matter, and when the agenda belongs to the relationship rather than a checklist, the meeting transforms.
Growth conversations don’t require complicated frameworks. In fact, simplicity is what makes them sustainable.
The Foundation: Consistency, Clarity, and Commitment
Strong one-on-ones rest on a few non-negotiables.
Consistency Builds Trust
Recurring meetings (ideally every other week or monthly) create reliability. Canceling or repeatedly postponing them sends an unintended message: this isn’t important. When leaders protect this time, even if it occasionally needs to shift, they reinforce trust and commitment.
Clarity Reduces Anxiety
Adding a one-on-one to someone’s calendar without context is a mistake. People fill information gaps with fear. Clear communication about why the meeting exists and how it will work eliminates unnecessary stress and sets the tone for success.
Commitment Shows What We Value
Calendars reveal priorities. When leaders consistently show up prepared and engaged, they demonstrate that relationships and development matter, not just output.
A Simple Structure That Works
Complex systems rarely survive busy schedules. Simplicity is what sticks.
One of the most effective one-on-one structures is built around two questions:
- What’s working well?
- What’s not working well or needs improvement?
Both the leader and the team member come prepared to answer these questions. The leader goes first, modeling openness and honesty. Over time, this rhythm normalizes feedback and removes the stigma around addressing challenges.
This approach demystifies the meeting. It replaces fear with predictability and replaces silence with dialogue.
Psychological Safety Is Built in the Response
The true test of a one-on-one isn’t what’s said, but it’s how it’s received.
When a team member offers feedback upward, they’re taking a risk. The leader’s response determines whether that risk was worth it. Listening without defensiveness, asking clarifying questions, and expressing gratitude sends a clear message: it’s safe to be honest here.
Once safety is established, feedback becomes a gift instead of a threat. Leaders gain awareness. Teams gain trust. Cultures strengthen.
One-on-Ones as a Root Practice
Leadership growth doesn’t start with grand initiatives. It starts with roots—small, consistent behaviors that shape everything above them.
Simple one-on-ones are one of those roots. They prevent disengagement, surface misalignment, build trust, and create space for people to grow into work and lives they care about.
When leaders commit to this rhythm, they’re not just managing performance; they’re cultivating meaningful work.
Listen to the Episode: Gut + Science: Simple 1:1s with Steve Perkins
Key Takeaways:
- One-on-ones are crucial for engagement, alignment, and problem-solving—but most people haven’t learned how to do them effectively.
- Consistency matters. Having a regular cadence (biweekly or monthly) prevents communication breakdowns.
- One-on-ones should be a two-way conversation. Both the leader and the team member should bring topics to discuss.
- Leaders must create safety for feedback. If employees don’t feel safe sharing honest feedback, they’ll disengage.
Things to listen for:
[00:02:00] Why one-on-ones feel inefficient—and why that belief is flawed
[00:03:00] The real reason most leaders avoid one-on-ones: lack of skill, not lack of time
[00:03:30] How virtual and hybrid work make one-on-ones more critical, not less
[00:06:00] Why one-on-ones prevent big problems instead of creating more work
[00:07:00] What the best one-on-ones leaders have experienced actually included
[00:11:00] How a single conversation can completely resolve a recurring team issue
[00:14:30] The danger of letting status updates dominate one-on-ones
[00:19:00] The importance of explaining the “why” before adding one-on-ones to the calendar
[00:26:00] Why feedback only works when leaders respond with gratitude and curiosity