Dr. Taryn Marie, a renowned expert in resilience and global leadership, shares her transformative journey from overcoming PTSD and undiagnosed learning disabilities to becoming a successful executive and impactful leader. You’ll learn about her unique coaching style that blends empathy and evidence-based strategies, earning her the affectionate nickname “resilience Barbie,” while also exploring the challenge of societal judgments, the power of storytelling, and practical tips for fostering resilience within oneself and within teams.
Embracing Resilience and Radical Acceptance
Resilience and radical acceptance are powerful concepts that shape our ability to thrive, especially in a world where challenge, change, and complexity are part of daily life. According to Dr. Taryn, a renowned expert on resilience, our capacity to accept and love others is limited by how well we can love and accept ourselves. This statement frames a deep and transformative approach to both personal and professional growth.
The Dance Between Being and Doing
One of the most profound ideas explored by Dr. Taryn revolves around the “dance between being and doing.” It’s a common human experience to find ourselves in a space between who we are today and who we want to become. Often, we stand at the edge of a vast chasm, with the person we aspire to be just out of reach. This can relate to goals in our career, relationships, health, or even something as seemingly small as a hobby or personal passion.
Dr. Taryn suggests that many of us make the mistake of delaying happiness and fulfillment until after we’ve achieved something—a promotion, a goal weight, or even a personal milestone. However, she challenges this thinking, stating, “What if we flipped the script?” Instead of waiting to be happy or fulfilled, we should allow ourselves to step into the best version of ourselves today, even when things are hard.
Life, as Dr. Taryn puts it, moves incredibly fast. She encourages us not to put joy and contentment on hold until we achieve some external milestone. The idea is to be the person you want to be now, not after everything falls into place. This approach allows us to fully engage with life in the present, rather than constantly deferring satisfaction to some future state.
Building a Resilient Mindset
When it comes to resilience, the conversation naturally turns toward the mindset that helps us navigate life’s inevitable challenges. According to Dr. Taryn, resilience is deeply tied to three core elements: having a clear purpose or goal, finding the drive to pursue that purpose, and aligning that purpose with a broader sense of meaning. These are not just abstract ideas; they are practical and actionable.
First, having a defined goal gives us a clear sense of direction. Whether it’s a career objective, personal aspiration, or simply surviving a difficult season of life, knowing where you’re headed is critical. Without a goal, it’s easy to get lost or feel like you’re not making progress. Dr. Taryn explains that having a clear destination helps you measure whether you’ve arrived or how close you are to reaching your goal.
Second, resilience requires an inner drive, the motivation to keep pushing forward even when things get tough. This drive isn’t something you can muster once and forget about; it’s something you need to nurture consistently. For example, when Dr. Taryn reflects on her own health journey, she talks about the importance of continually assessing where she is and adjusting her habits to support long-term well-being. This internal motivation is a cornerstone of resilience.
Finally, a resilient mindset is rooted in purpose. When your goals and your drive align with your sense of purpose, you are more likely to persist, even when things get challenging. As Dr. Taryn points out, many people struggle with the concept of purpose, feeling as though they need a sudden epiphany to discover why they are here. Instead, she encourages us to view purpose as something that unfolds gradually, like following a trail of breadcrumbs in the dark.
Radical Acceptance: The Key to Living Resilience Out Loud
Radical acceptance is not a concept that comes easily to most of us, particularly in a world where we are often our own harshest critics. As Dr. Taryn explains, many of us wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and immediately start tearing ourselves down. We see our flaws, imperfections, and the things we wish we could change. This internal narrative shapes not only how we see ourselves but also how we interact with the world.
Radical acceptance, however, is about making peace with who we are right now. It’s not about complacency or giving up on self-improvement, but rather about recognizing that we are already enough, as we are. Dr. Taryn underscores the importance of self-compassion, noting that “our ability to love and accept others is limited only by our capacity to love and accept ourselves.”
This idea is revolutionary because it shifts the focus from external validation to internal validation. In a world that often pressures us to achieve, perform, and constantly improve, the idea of accepting ourselves as we are can feel radical. Yet, as Dr. Taryn argues, it’s only through this radical self-acceptance that we can truly live resiliently.
The Five Practices of Highly Resilient People
In her extensive research, Dr. Taryn has identified five key practices that highly resilient people consistently engage in. These practices form the foundation of resilience and can be applied in both personal and professional contexts.
- Vulnerability: Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is not about weakness. It’s about allowing our internal world—our thoughts, emotions, and experiences—to be seen by others. Authenticity and empathy grow from this practice of vulnerability, as it allows us to connect more deeply with those around us.
- Productive Perseverance: This is the intelligent pursuit of a goal. Resilient people know when to keep pushing forward, even in the face of obstacles. However, they also know when it’s time to pivot or change course. This balance between persistence and adaptability is key to long-term success.
- Connection: While many people think of connection in terms of their relationships with others, the most resilient individuals start with a deep connection to themselves. This involves trusting your intuition, knowing your strengths, and being in tune with your inner world. From there, external connections with friends, family, and colleagues can thrive.
- Gratiosity: This practice is about finding gratitude in life’s challenges. It’s not about being thankful for the hardship itself, but rather recognizing the growth and strength that can come from difficult experiences. Sharing these stories of resilience with others helps to build a sense of community and support.
- Possibility: The most resilient people are able to focus on progress, not perfection. They understand that with every opportunity comes some level of risk, but they do not allow fear to paralyze them. Instead, they hold space for both risk and opportunity, making informed decisions that move them forward.
Living Resilience Out Loud
Resilience isn’t about avoiding challenges; it’s about learning how to navigate them with grace and strength. Dr. Taryn’s insights offer a powerful framework for building resilience in our own lives. Whether through embracing vulnerability, practicing perseverance, or cultivating radical self-acceptance, we can all learn to live resilience out loud. And in doing so, we not only improve our own lives but also inspire those around us to do the same.
Listen to the episode: Gut + Science | Episode 261: Radical Acceptance – Resilience Lived Out Loudly with Dr. Taryn Marie
Key Takeaways:
- The concept of “resilience Barbie” and breaking mental barriers about resilience
- Dr. Taryn Marie’s personal journey overcoming PTSD and undiagnosed learning disabilities
- The five practices of highly resilient people and their relevance for leaders
- Radical acceptance and self-love as foundations for personal and professional growth
- The interplay between vulnerability, productive perseverance, and connection in fostering resilience
Things to listen for:
[00:04:00] Embrace the present to become your best.
[00:11:02] Resilient mindset needs purpose, vision, and drive.
[00:16:16] Empathy and repetition for effective communication.
[00:23:25] Attributes of highly resilient people in 5 practices
[00:29:45] Balancing leadership, self, community, and grandiosity.
[00:38:52] “Embracing your path with trust and purpose.”
[00:41:32] Positive self-talk fuels personal growth and success.
[00:55:26] Reflection is crucial for leaders’ development.
[00:56:33] Journaling and exercise provide emotional relief.
