Living a Life of “And”: Embracing Possibility and Overcoming Fear

The Power of Saying “Yes” to Multiple Dreams

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the many roles we play and the numerous responsibilities we juggle. However, what if instead of seeing these multiple facets of life as burdens, we viewed them as opportunities? This is the essence of living a “life of and” – a philosophy that encourages us to embrace multiple dreams, roles, and aspirations without feeling the need to choose just one.

Tiffany Sauder, CEO of Element Three and host of the Scared Confident podcast, talked with  Nikki Lewallen Gregory to share her inspiring journey from fear to freedom, and how she balances her role as a leader with a fulfilling family life. Tiffany’s story is a testament to the power of embracing a life of “And,” where career ambitions, family commitments, and personal growth can coexist and thrive.

From Fear to Freedom: The Journey of Scared Confident

The concept of living a “life of and” emerged from a personal journey of confronting fear and finding confidence. It began with the creation of Tiffany’s podcast called “Scared Confident,” which started as a form of self-therapy during a particularly challenging time. Tiffany found herself at a crossroads – turning 40, unexpectedly pregnant with her fourth child, and navigating the uncertainties of the pandemic as an executive leader.

This confluence of events led to a powerful realization: fear had been a constant companion throughout life’s big decisions. Whether it was becoming a young entrepreneur, deciding to have a large family, or fighting for a strong marriage, there was always an underlying current of fear. However, alongside this fear was a determination to push through and find confidence.

The podcast became a platform to explore this dichotomy between fear and confidence. By openly discussing fears and challenging their validity, the creator discovered a liberating truth – the louder she proclaimed her fears, the less power they held over her life.

Embracing the “And”: A New Approach to Life

As the journey progressed, the focus shifted from merely confronting fear to actively pursuing a life of “and.” This new perspective encourages individuals to stop saying no to their dreams simply because they seem impossible to achieve alongside existing commitments.

The Challenge of Modern Families

It’s not uncommon to see families navigating the complexities of dual careers. This presents unique challenges, especially for those who grew up with stay-at-home parents. The life of “and” philosophy offers tools, resources, and encouragement for these families, helping them to thrive in both their professional and personal lives.

Becoming the CEO of Your Household

One key aspect of living a life of “and” is learning to be the chief operating officer of your household. This involves creating systems and processes for the predictable aspects of daily life, much like a well-run business operates. By doing so, families can free up mental and emotional energy to focus on the things that truly matter.

For example, laundry, meal planning, and transportation are not surprises – they’re regular occurrences that can be systematized. By putting efficient processes in place for these routine tasks, families can create space for creativity, intimacy, and pursuing their dreams.

Practical Tips for Living a Life of “And”

1. Embrace Systems and Formulas

Create simple systems for recurring tasks. For instance, develop a formula for grocery shopping (e.g., two proteins, two carbs, five veggies, five fruits, two fats) to simplify meal planning and reduce decision fatigue.

2. Leverage Technology and Services

Use apps and services to streamline daily tasks. For example:

  • Instacart for grocery delivery
  • Poplin for laundry services
  • Felt Cards app for sending personalized notes effortlessly

3. Anticipate and Plan

Think ahead to make life smoother. For instance, schedule house cleaning and grocery delivery for the day before returning from vacation to come home to a fresh start.

4. Find Creative Solutions

Think outside the box to solve everyday problems. 

The Benefits of Living a Life of “And”

Embracing this philosophy can lead to numerous benefits:

  1. Increased fulfillment by pursuing multiple passions
  2. Better work-life integration
  3. Enhanced problem-solving skills
  4. Greater resilience in the face of challenges
  5. Improved family dynamics and relationships

Overcoming Obstacles

Living a life of “and” isn’t without its challenges. It requires discipline, organization, and a willingness to look ahead. It also means being growth-minded and scaling the environment of your household to accommodate more without sacrificing the quality of relationships or personal well-being.

The Importance of Self-Reflection

Regular self-reflection is crucial in this journey. It’s about continually assessing what’s working, what isn’t, and being willing to make adjustments. This might mean saying no to things that no longer align with your values or priorities to make room for the things that do.

Building a Community of Support

Sharing this philosophy with others – whether it’s family members, colleagues, or friends – can create a supportive community. By being vulnerable about personal struggles and successes, we encourage others to embrace their own journey of growth and possibility.

Embracing the Journey

Living a life of “and” is not about achieving perfection or having it all figured out. It’s about embracing the journey, being willing to face fears, and continually striving for growth and fulfillment. It’s about recognizing that we don’t have to choose between our various dreams and roles – we can find ways to integrate them into a rich, multifaceted life.

By adopting this mindset and implementing practical strategies, we can create lives that are not just busy, but truly fulfilling. We can build families that thrive, pursue careers that inspire us, and still have time for personal growth and joy. The life of “and” is not just a possibility – it’s a powerful approach to living that can transform the ordinary into the extraordinary.

Listen to the episode: Gut + Science | 260: Living and Leading a Life of And with Tiffany Sauder

Follow Tiffany’s Show: Scared Confident

Key Takeaways:

  • Transitioning from fear to freedom and embracing a life of “and”
  • Balancing two careers and managing work-life integration
  • Implementing household systems to simplify daily routines
  • Tools and resources for modern two-career families
  • Encouragement and strategies for pursuing dreams amidst challenges

Things to listen for:

[00:03:04] Executive leader experienced uncertainty and fear.

[00:06:48] Financially rich, internally poor. Helping two-career families.

[00:11:24] Choosing success means giving up fear-based choices.

[00:15:54] Efficient processes enable focus on enjoyable tasks.

[00:18:37] Efficient meal planning and grocery shopping tips.

[00:19:47] Enthusiastic talk about life hacks and routine.

[00:24:40] Vulnerability and grace in leadership and organizations.

[00:28:10] Ten-year 4-H passion for sewing and fashion.

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